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The Jam

from Coffee & Cannabis by MATLOCK

/

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  • T-Shirt/Shirt + Digital Album

    Unisex Basic Softstyle T-Shirt | Gildan 64000

    The Gildan 64000 makes for a great staple t-shirt that compliments any outfit. It's made of a heavier cotton and the double-stitched neckline and sleeves give it more durability, so it can become an everyday favorite.

    -100% ring-spun cotton
    -Fabric weight: 4.5 oz/y² (153 g/m²)
    -Pre-shrunk for extra durability
    -Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
    -Quarter-turned to avoid crease down the center
    -Blank product sourced from Bangladesh, Honduras, Haiti, Mexico, or Nicaragua

    Includes unlimited streaming of Coffee & Cannabis via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • This beautiful glossy white 11 ounce coffee mug is not only a terrific beverage-consuming device, but it also bears the title of the Matlock album, "Coffee & Cannabis".

    Includes unlimited streaming of Coffee & Cannabis via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days

      $15 USD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Pre-sales are now open for the vinyl version on Yellow with Green and Brown splatter

    Deployment is slated for November 2022. We understand the waiting is the hardest part but rest assured, we are doing our best to expedite.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Coffee & Cannabis via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $31.99 CAD or more 

     

  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Pre-sales are now open for the Black vinyl version.

    Deployment is slated for November 2022. We understand the waiting is the hardest part but rest assured, we are doing our best to expedite.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Coffee & Cannabis via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 2 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $26.99 CAD or more 

     

  • Full Digital Discography

    14
    releases

    Get all 14 MATLOCK releases available on Bandcamp and save 50%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Coffee & Cannabis Instrumentals, Coffee & Cannabis, Paradise Lost, Matlockland, Versifier- Bootlegs Volume 2, 2707 Instrumentals, Bootlegs- Volume 1, Book of Matthew, and 6 more. , and , .

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lyrics

"The Jam"
Written and performed by MATLOCK for Fly Pig Music (ASCAP)

Verse 1.
Elbow macaroni had beef with shells
And the 3 Musketeers fought the Keebler Elves
Nerds wouldn't even leave the shelves
Cause the mothafuckin' Lemonheads were deep as hell
Patty Melt's on the stroll would ya' look at that
Ben & Jerry asked Matt "Where the cookies at?"
Quickdraw McGraw's on the wall slangin' Sugar Smacks
(Mom can we get this?) (No baby put it back)
Then Snap Crackle and Pop
Told Chester Cheetah chill he was attractin' the cops
When they heard Trix the Rabbit was back on the block
They went up to 5th Ave and beat his ass on the spot
Lucky said you'll never get my Charms
And Mike was tryin' to do Ike harm
Then Jimmy Dean, come intervene with his firearm
And said "There ain't shit sweet here in Hillshire Farms"
The Brawny Man was causin' a damn scene
Italian Beef told him to scram please
Brawny started trippin', slappin' the canned peas
Beef locked the door on 'em "Now you's can't leave"
Mr Peanut said "They gon' go nuts"
Let's hit the Tropicana everyone knows us
I said "That's nice and all but when the guns go bust
The Gortons Fisherman's the only one I trust"

Verse 2.
Now Strawberry Shortcake and Toucan Sam
Were gettin' hella butter off a food stamp scam
And Wonder Bread sued canned Spam
And bought a house in Land-O-Lakes and a new Trans Am
Little Debbie RIP'd the Hostess
For the cream now she sleeps with the Goldfish
But ya' know that she was poppin' Pez
Said she got it from Juan Valdez
Now Apple Jack sailed out with Cap n Crunch
But Jack was sick of Turkey always actin' tough
He said "You got a bone to pick? I'll eat yo ass for lunch!"
Franken Berry had to break it up like "That's enough!"
In comes Paul Newman, like "What y'all doin'?"
Umbrella Girl said "We got a big storm brewin'"
Dinty Moore's stewin' and offered her some
Cookie Crook got locked up by Officer Crumb
Snuggle Bear was there break the static
The pickle Stork's in, ain't a Vlassic
Cracker Jack pulled out the Magnum, makin' it drastic
Asked him "How you want it dog, paper or plastic!?"
Blasted his Stove Top all over the pavement
Salmon called the Pork, they got the aisle barricaded
Mamba hollered "Sweet Baby Ray I can't take it!"
Dr Pepper said "Yo I don't think he's gonna make it"

Verse 3.
Remember Slim Jim that used to flip them onions?
He's in the Navy Beans on a frickin' gunship
Chicken Nugget did some dumb shit
And ended up in rehab for sniffin' Fun dip
Kit Katt is dead? Gimme a break
The Owl inquired "How many licks did it take?"
Then Drake was like "Yo what's with all the murders lately?
This ain't no kind of place to raise the Gerber baby"
Now Famous Amos and Sloppy Joe
Took a ride with Haagen Dazs it was a Rocky Road
Twinkie the Kid was like, "Lock n load"
And they caught Apple Pie slippin' he was a la' mode
Oscar Meyer's a lyin' phony
He's smokin' Pop Rocks don't buy his baloney
"Loan me little bread" he said "I'm in poor health"
I'm like "Man you better Hamburger Help yourself"
Mr Clean had the Senoritas
I'm talkin' Sun Maid to Miss Chiquita
Said "I used to be in love with Michelina's
Until Marie Calendar came in between us
Back then I was a Hungry Man
And Mrs Paul's got a crusty clam
But she had a booty bigger than a country ham
And I'm a bad mother Smucker PUMP UP THE JAM!"

credits

from Coffee & Cannabis, released April 20, 2022
Written and performed by MATLOCK for Fly Pig Music (ASCAP)
Produced by Panama Beats.

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MATLOCK image

MATLOCK Illinois

Matlock is an upper echelon lyricist, gifted songwriter and underground hip-hop luminary. He has spent more than twenty years making timeless material for his devoted fan base which has grown into what is now a worldwide cult following. His larger than life persona and independent hustle has gained him legendary status, and millions of plays without a major record label. ... more

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